I asked a colleague today if he had been using his camera and he said 'yes'!  Awesome! 

We took the same camera class in December from Greg 'Tornado Hunter" Johnson.  It was a fabulous workshop. If you are interested in Greg's classes, go to: https://tornadohunter.com/introduction-to-photography-and-camera  The last piece of advice was to use the camera to retain all the information we learned over a jam packed two days. ​

Ya, that didn't happen.  But I have pulled my camera out for a few things.  A month or so ago, I was at a branding and I wasn't needed to wrestle calves.  So I walked around and took a few photos.  It was a sunny/cloudy/sunny/cloudy day, so my light was constantly changing.  Sometimes I got lucky and well for others, they need a little touch up. But it is summer in Saskatchewan, and that is something that will need to wait until we don't have beautiful weather.  We have to take advantage of it while we have it. :D

I have so much to remember and still so much to learn. ISOs, f-stops, shutter speeds, white balance, etc.  As you can tell, I am not a photographer, but that is okay.  I am having fun just playing and there always seemed to be photos I had desired to take, but didn't have a camera. For me, it is always all about the horses or dogs anyway and they haven't complained yet. My camera isn't fancy or expensive, nor a dslr.  But it can do the things I need for now. 

It doesn't matter if you are good at something, nor does it matter if you completely understand it, just get out there and do it.  Find someone who does know that can give you some pointers. Play with it. Just do it!

A lot of people in Access have had these huge shifts. 

I haven't.  And that is okay. 

I keep checking my course and making small adjustments, checking, adjusting, checking, adjusting, etc.

Isn't huge or small just a matter of perspective? Maybe what is small for me is huge for someone else, or vice versa. :)

What would it take to be grateful for being exactly where we are, exactly the way we are and start to celebrate ourselves? How much fun would that be? 

One of the wonderful things Access Consciousness has done for me is it have given me the power of choice.

I grew up being told what to do, even as an adult, even as a mother.  If I wasn't accommodating, lies and manipulations were common place to make me acquiesce. I always felt wrong when I made a choice that went against what I had been told. I was constantly resented because I had wanted to choose something different. And I was so guilty about that. 

In hind sight, when I look back, it was those decisions, the ones I made against the grain, that created the most in my life.  The decisions Bad Tanja made choosing for herself created more. More joy, more fun!

I always felt like I had to, this is what I have to do, this is what they expect, and I felt I had no choices.

But that isn't true!  I have a million possibilities in a day!  Do I want to get up on time or do I want to laze around? Do I want to wear the blue pants or the black ones? Do I want to wear a sweater or not? Do I want to fit in some exercise before work or review my email? Do I want to eat breakie or just have juice or tea? Do I want to use peppermint or charcoal tooth paste? Do I want to wear heavy makeup, light or maybe none at all? Do I want to straighten my hair or go naturally curly? Do I want to take offence at the stuff my dogs chewed or do I just want to love them? Do I want to walk to work or do I want to drive? All that was before I left the house in the morning!

Keep in mind, our choices have repercussions, but it is still our choice.  If I choose not to wear my seat belt, that is my choice. However, if I am caught in a check stop without it on, I will have to pay for a ticket.  But that is a choice, too.  I could choose not to pay my ticket and at some point find myself in court.  And maybe if I strongly feel that having to wear a seat belt goes against my human rights and I want to take a stand and I want to publicise my views... those may be the choices I make, 

I no longer have to feel guilty for saying no or letting someone know something doesn't work for me.  It doesn't have to change things for them, just don't expect me to comply or participate.  The flip side is that the things I do choose, I do with joy and happiness.  There is no resentment in my choices. I choose it because that is what is best for me. I can give all of myself joyfully in that choice.

We are often taught that there are two options.  Right and wrong.  Or plan A or plan B.  What I want and what you want. But in reality we have a million possibilities in a day.

So what are you choosing?

Another of the things that Access Consciousness has done for me is it has changed the way I watch movies. Silly right?

Movies are so much more enjoyable now.  I am not made insane with the inconsistencies, incongruities and incorrect elements.  And heaven forbid if the movie did not match the book.  That is it, end of the world.

It is just a movie. A book is a book and the television adaptation is something completely different.  For example, in a book, you have unlimited pages to develop as many characters as the story requires.  A tv show or movie has limited time to tell the story and too many unessential characters make it confusing and hard to follow. Some scenes just don't translate to film very well. In a book, you may have four or more chapters to develop an event, all the characters thoughts and motivations, plus dialog and events.  Putting all this onto the screen could painfully slow down the story to the point of losing its audience.

It is something to enjoy as it is intended as entertainment. That's what they call it, the Entertainment Industry. Of course, some of them have messages or hidden agendas, okay most of them. But I can enjoy it for what it is. And choose to take the lesson if I want, or not.

Speaking of which, I haven't watched Down the Fence yet.  It is a horse movie, of course I am off to watch it!

Choose to make it a great one, everybody!

Access Consciousness has helped me make a lot of changes in my life.

One of them is getting off the hamster wheel. I can still recall a lot of injustices or humilities in my lifetime, but now I have tools to deal with it.  So much different that the never ending indignation or mortification that would just go around and around and around, never being resolved.

I ask questions like 'Who does it belong to?', 'Is it mine?', 'Can I change it?' or 'What is right about this I am not getting?'.  And then use the tools. Maybe I can even have gratitude for the situation.  Maybe it was the irritating grain of sand that resulted in a pearl.

Instead of building that emotion to greater and greater levels, I can choose to deal with it in the moment. I am not that rocket waiting to go off. It may go away at that time or it may pop back again, but I just repeat the process. I am no longer angry at stuff that happened 20 years ago or last week.  Sure, I still react to some things, but they don't have to keep me up at night or still haunt me decades later.

Yes, it is a 'little' thing, but has made a huge difference for me.

​Choose to make it a great one, everybody! 

This week we suddenly had to say "Goodbye" to a friend.  It was unexpected and traumatic.

We had great plans that day to take him to do one of his favourite things, chasing cows and afterwards, he was going to live across the street from his owner, Allie. He was going to have a friend with him, one of my horses Chance was going so Scout wouldn't be living alone. Allie and her husband, Doug, had just wrapped up the main part of the fence.  And with Scout being just across the road, Allie was looking forward to be able to sneak out while Gavin napped or when Doug was home.  It was a dream to just have him close and I know that dream well.

Scout came to me over nine years ago when my cousins moved to town and they were looking for a place for him.  At the time, we had another cousin's horse, Casey, that my son had used for 4-H.  To start, Scout went north of Rush Lake for the winter as at the time, boarding two seemed out of reach.

He was all go.  As soon as you put a foot in the stirrup he was already taking off at the run.  He and I spent a lot of time just standing.  I would get on, I would get off, I would get on, he would get to take a couple of steps and I would get off, I would get on and he could walk in a small circle and I would get off. It took a bit, but he figured out he wasn't going to get anywhere until he stood still. Walking and trotting were not problem, but when it came to loping, he figured full out was best.  Scout and I spent a lot of time loping circles until they became slow and relaxed.  Though that next gear was always ready to go, but he began to wait for the ask instead of going into it automatically.

Scout became the horse I could take anywhere and do anything with.  He would cross water and mud calmly when other horses were jumping.  He loved chasing cows and enjoyed when one would test him.  One spring we had permission to ride in a summer fallow field and Dalton, Nik and I went riding.  It was a great opportunity to open them up and blow the stink off.  Nik pulled up as Karat was getting a little too rambunctious.  So Dalton and I gave Jack and Scout a head to head.  We were galloping pretty good, but Scout had gears to go and away we went.  It was so much fun and Dalton was so surprised at the speed Scout had! Though outings like this meant he found it really hard to go back to a walk again because he just wanted to keep running and running.

Scout learned that we would try all sorts of things, like riding through the irrigation sprinklers, just to see if we could. Tarps weren't his favourite, but we would tolerate me playing with them.  We did find out he wasn't a great fan of ducklings quacking and wandering underneath him. :D We had gone to move cows and while Domino was curious about what these noisy little things were, Scout was not impressed. He was a horse that I could just lead him out of the pasture, load him on the road and go.  He was very good about carrying the saddle bags with the refreshments on trail rides. ;) 

In the beginning, I couldn't catch him, but Dalton could.  At the time, Dalton couldn't catch Jack. So we would catch each others horses. It just took a little loving and some treats for Scout to figure out I wasn't so bad after all. Scout never bucked or offered to buck, even when Dalton jumped off Jack onto Scout as if I was a pickup man. Nor when we were trying, in vane, to teach Domino to pony.

Scout was a terrific horse and I loved him.  But we just didn't have that magical connection.  I had met Allie when I started a new job in the fall of 2012.  And boy, did he love her.  In the time that I owned Scout, he hugged me only about four times.  As soon as Allie started coming out, he was hugging her all the time. He would wrap his head around her and just lean in. It was a beautiful match when Allie decided she wanted to purchase him.  When I rode Scout he was all go, just waiting to be asked.  When Allie rode Scout, he was all about being careful and caring.

I am very lucky that Allie kept him where I used to board for the most part. I would get to see him and still take care of him, giving the older horse a little extra here and there. I could recommend when he needed something or suggest trying a little this or that. Allie started bringing her nieces out, and oh, how he loved those little girl's attention.

I cannot convey how truly grateful I am that Scout came into our lives and the beautiful contributions he has made.  He will be well missed.  Rest in peace old friend. 

Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. ... A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.
​~ The Spiral Dance/Warrior Goddess Training

I know, but it is about the little things.  :D

I will share my point of view.  You don't have to agree.  We can have respectful discussions where we can share differing points of view.

I am just some lady from a prairie province who loves being in communion with animals.  I am a steak and potatoes girl who enjoys country music and once in a blue moon a two-step.

In some instances, I am opinionated.  In others, quite flexible.  Some days I am lazy and others the Energizer® bunny.  

I will talk about all sorts of things, whatever crosses my fancy that day.  :)

Choose to make it a great one, everybody!